# Chinese funerals in the UK

> Chinese funerals in the UK vary by family origin and faith, but many share customs rooted in respect for elders and ancestors. Families may choose an auspicious date, hold a wake with incense and offerings, and burn joss paper. Mourners wear white, black or plain clothes, avoid red, and give money to the family in a white envelope.

Source: https://funeralfinder.org/uk/guides/chinese-funerals-in-the-uk/ — updated 2026-09-25 — FuneralFinder

Chinese funeral customs are shaped by respect for elders and ancestors, and by where a family's roots are: Hong Kong, mainland China, Malaysia, Singapore, Taiwan, Vietnam or elsewhere. Faith matters too. Families may be Buddhist, Taoist, Christian, Muslim, follow Chinese folk traditions or none. This guide explains the customs you may meet in the UK and how to plan around them.

## Key points

- Customs vary widely by **region, dialect group, faith and generation**. Always ask the family.
- Many families choose an **auspicious date** for the funeral, guided by a feng shui master or the Chinese almanac.
- A **wake** with an altar, incense and offerings may last one or more days.
- Mourners wear **white, black or plain** clothes and **avoid red**.
- Guests often give money in a **white envelope** to help with costs.
- Families may burn **joss paper** and paper offerings, so check what the venue allows.
- Christian and Muslim Chinese families follow their own faith's funeral rites.

## What makes Chinese funerals distinctive

NHS Education for Scotland's multi-faith guide describes how many Chinese families blend Buddhism, Confucianism and Taoism with reverence for ancestors, and how children are expected to carry out rituals for their parents. Singapore's National Library Board describes funeral rites as partly an act of filial piety and partly a belief in a continuing relationship between the living and the dead.

Child Bereavement UK notes that traditions are often observed carefully, because not doing so is thought to bring bad luck. Younger family members may be less observant than their elders, so it helps to agree early which customs matter most.

## Choosing the date

Many families consult a feng shui master or the Chinese almanac (*Tung Shing*) for an auspicious date and time, and sometimes for the position of the grave. This can mean waiting a little longer, or needing a particular day at the crematorium. Tell your funeral director as soon as you have a preferred date.

## The wake

In the UK, the wake is often held in the funeral director's chapel over one or more evenings, or sometimes at home. You may see:

- an **altar** with the person's photograph, candles, incense, fruit and other food offerings;
- family taking turns to **sit with the person**, who may be dressed in their best clothes or a white robe;
- **Buddhist monks or nuns, or Taoist priests**, chanting and leading rites, often on the final night;
- visitors **lighting incense and bowing** to the person, then bowing to the family;
- **wreaths or floral tributes**, sometimes with banners carrying a message.

In Singapore, wakes traditionally last an odd number of days. In many families, pregnant women and young children are discouraged from attending.

## White envelopes and other money customs

| Custom | What it means |
|---|---|
| **White envelope** (*bak gam* in Cantonese, *bojin* in Mandarin) | Money given by guests to help the family with funeral costs. Many families give an odd amount |
| **Thank-you token** | Many Hong Kong and Cantonese families give guests a small envelope, often with a coin and a sweet, to use or eat before going home |
| **Red thread** | In some Singaporean families, guests take a piece of red thread when leaving, to ward off bad luck |

Guests often leave quietly without saying goodbye to the family.

## The funeral, joss paper and offerings

When the coffin is closed, some mourners turn away. Families may burn **joss paper**, spirit money and paper models of houses, cars and other items, so the person has what they need in the afterlife. Some rites, especially Buddhist ones, continue at the crematorium or graveside.

**Check the rules first.** Some crematoria and cemeteries don't allow open flames in chapels or on graves. Rugby's cemetery regulations, for example, don't allow naked flames on graves. Some sites can suggest a safe place to burn offerings, and incense in a chapel may set off smoke alarms.

Christian Chinese families usually hold a church or chapel service with hymns, and may not follow folk customs. See our [Buddhist funerals guide](/faiths/buddhist/) and [Christian funerals guide](/faiths/christian/).

## Dress and mourning

| Who | What's usual |
|---|---|
| **Close family** | White, black or plain clothes; traditionally coarse hemp or burlap for the closest relatives |
| **Guests** | Dark or muted colours; **avoid red and bright colours** |
| **After the funeral** | Some relatives wear a small cloth mourning pin or armband for weeks. Singapore's National Library Board describes it being worn for 49 or 100 days |

Child Bereavement UK notes that mourning periods range from one month to three years, depending on the relationship and the family's origins. Some families postpone weddings for at least a year after a parent or grandparent dies.

## Burial or cremation?

Burial has long been preferred by many older Chinese people, who may wish the body to stay whole. Cremation is now common, especially among families from cities where land is scarce. Ashes are usually **not scattered**: they may be buried, placed in a columbarium niche, kept by the family or shared between relatives. Some families take feng shui into account when choosing a grave. See [cremation vs burial](/uk/guides/cremation-vs-burial/).

## Remembrance

- **Weekly rites up to the 49th day** are common in Buddhist families.
- An **ancestral altar** or tablet at home or in a temple keeps the person's memory present.
- **Ching Ming** (Qingming) in early April is the main time to clean graves and make offerings. Many Hong Kong families also visit at **Chung Yeung** in the autumn.

## Costs

Costs depend on the family's choices. The biggest items are usually:

- **several days' use** of the funeral director's chapel for the wake;
- **fees or donations** for monks, nuns or priests;
- a burial plot in a preferred position, and a headstone, often with a photograph;
- flowers, paper offerings and a meal for guests.

White envelope gifts help many families. See our [funeral costs guide](/uk/funeral-costs/).

## Repatriation or a UK funeral?

Some families send their loved one, or their ashes, to Hong Kong, mainland China, Malaysia or elsewhere. Ashes are simpler and cheaper to transport than a coffin. From England and Wales, your funeral director must first give notice to the coroner. Destination rules vary, so check with the relevant consulate. The Funeral Expenses Payment only covers funerals in the UK, the EEA or Switzerland. See our [repatriation guide](/uk/guides/repatriation/).

## Practical tips for arranging the funeral in the UK

- **Choose a funeral director** who is used to Chinese funerals, allows altars, incense and longer viewings, and ideally has Cantonese- or Mandarin-speaking staff.
- **Book early** if you need an auspicious date or time.
- **Book a longer slot** for rites at the crematorium. Crematoria run to fixed intervals (Croydon, for example, uses 45-minute slots), but extra time can often be booked.
- **Ask about burning offerings** and incense before the day.
- **Ask the cemetery** about headstone photographs and memorial rules before choosing a plot.

## Next steps

- Find [Buddhist funeral directors](/uk/buddhist-funeral-directors/) or [funeral directors near you](/uk/funeral-directors-near-me/).
- Read [funeral etiquette](/uk/guides/funeral-etiquette/) and [what to wear to a funeral](/uk/guides/what-to-wear-to-a-funeral/).

## Frequently asked questions

### What should I wear to a Chinese funeral?

Dark or muted clothes, such as black, white, grey or navy, are usually right. Avoid red and other bright colours, which are linked with celebrations. Close family may wear white or plain clothes, and sometimes a mourning pin or armband.

### How much should I put in the white envelope?

There's no set amount. The money helps the family with funeral costs, so give what feels right for your relationship. In many families it is customary to give an odd amount. If you're not sure, ask someone close to the family.

### Why do Chinese families choose an auspicious date?

Many families consult a feng shui master or the Chinese almanac so that the funeral, and sometimes the grave's position, bring peace to the person and good fortune to the family. It may mean waiting a little longer for a suitable date.

### Can we burn joss paper at a UK crematorium or cemetery?

It depends on the site. Some don't allow open flames on graves or in chapels, while some can suggest a safe place. Ask your funeral director to check with the crematorium or cemetery before the day.

### Do Chinese families bury or cremate?

Both. Older generations have often preferred burial, while cremation is now common, especially among families from cities where land is scarce. Ashes are usually kept, buried or placed in a columbarium rather than scattered.

### What is Ching Ming?

Ching Ming (Qingming) is a festival in early April when families visit and clean ancestors' graves, offer food and flowers, and burn incense and joss paper. Many Chinese families in the UK visit graves around this time.

## Sources

- [National Library Board Singapore – Chinese death rituals (Infopedia)](https://www.nlb.gov.sg/main/article-detail?cmsuuid=a3bfaffd-f823-4cf1-80a0-888db820bf1d)
- [Child Bereavement UK – Chinese communities](https://www.childbereavementuk.org/faqs/chinese-communities)
- [NHS Education for Scotland – Spiritual Care: a multi-faith resource for healthcare staff](https://www.nes.scot.nhs.uk/media/ay4je0io/multi-faith-resource-for-healthcare-staff.pdf)
- [Rugby Borough Council – Cemetery Regulations (July 2024)](https://www.rugby.gov.uk/documents/4021035/0/Cemetery+Regulations.pdf/faf7ce27-a30c-893d-ec39-470fbd2cf9eb?t=1723113997586)
- [Croydon Council – Croydon Crematorium](https://www.croydon.gov.uk/births-deaths-marriages-and-citizenship/death-and-bereavement/bereavement-services/croydon-crematorium)
- [GOV.UK – Funeral Expenses Payment: eligibility](https://www.gov.uk/funeral-payments/eligibility)