Flowers are one of the oldest ways to show sympathy, but it helps to know what’s expected before you order. This guide explains the different types of funeral flowers, who usually sends what, faith customs, what to write on the card and when a donation is the better choice.
Key points
- Check the funeral notice first. Look for “family flowers only”, “no flowers” or a named charity.
- Family usually choose the coffin spray and any name or letter tributes.
- Friends and colleagues often send a wreath, posy or sympathy bouquet.
- Deliver to the funeral director, not the venue, unless told otherwise.
- Flowers are not customary at Jewish or Muslim funerals.
- Keep the card short. One or two lines is plenty.
Types of funeral flowers
| Tribute | Usually from | What it is | Relative cost |
|---|---|---|---|
| Coffin spray | Immediate family | An arrangement that sits on top of the coffin | Higher |
| Letters or names (e.g. MUM, GRANDAD) | Family, grandchildren | Flowers formed into letters, placed beside the coffin in the hearse | Higher, priced per letter |
| Wreath | Family, friends, organisations | A circular arrangement symbolising eternal life | Mid to high |
| Heart or cushion | Partner, close family | A solid heart-shaped or square design | Mid to high |
| Cross | Family with Christian faith | A cross-shaped design | Mid to high |
| Themed designs | Family | Designs such as a football shirt, pint glass, gates of heaven | Higher, often made to order |
| Single or double-ended spray | Friends, colleagues | A flat, sheaf-style spray | Mid |
| Posy | Friends, grandchildren, neighbours | A small, round arrangement in a basket or pad | Lower |
| Sheaf or hand-tied | Anyone | A simple bunch that can be laid down or taken home | Lower to mid |
| Sympathy bouquet or plant | Anyone | Sent to the family home, before or after the funeral | Lower to mid |
Prices vary a lot by region and florist. Large, bespoke or lettered tributes cost considerably more than a posy or bouquet. Ask for a quote before you order, and check whether delivery to the funeral director is included.
Who sends what?
- Partner, children and parents: coffin spray, letters, heart or cushion. Many families agree one shared coffin spray.
- Grandchildren, siblings, wider family: posies, wreaths or letters.
- Friends and neighbours: a wreath, spray or posy for the funeral, or a bouquet to the home.
- Colleagues and organisations: a wreath or spray from the team, often with a donation too.
How to send funeral flowers
- Check the notice for any requests about flowers or donations.
- Find the funeral director, date and time. The family or notice will usually say.
- Order from a florist with enough notice, especially for bespoke designs.
- Ask the florist to deliver to the funeral director by their deadline, clearly labelled with the name of the person who died and the funeral date.
- Write a card (see examples below).
Faith and cultural customs
| Faith or tradition | Flowers? | What to do instead or as well |
|---|---|---|
| Christian (all denominations) | Yes, widely welcomed | Some churches have their own guidance, so the funeral director will know. |
| Catholic | Yes | A Mass card is a traditional alternative or addition. |
| Jewish | Not customary | Send food to the shiva house or donate to a charity in the person’s memory. |
| Muslim | Not customary; funerals are simple | Bring food to the family home, or give sadaqah (charity) in the person’s name. |
| Hindu | Often used: garlands and petals, often white or marigold | Ask the family first. Fruit or food for the family home is also appreciated. |
| Sikh | Varies by family | Ask first. A donation or help with langar (the shared meal) is often valued. |
| Buddhist | Usually welcome, especially white or yellow flowers | Avoid red. Simple arrangements are best. |
| Chinese | White or yellow flowers, often chrysanthemums | Avoid red. |
| Humanist and non-religious | Yes | Anything that reflects the person. |
See our faith guides for more on each tradition.
What to write on a funeral flower card
Keep it short, since cards are small and often read by many people. These are original examples to adapt.
From family
- “Mum, forever in our hearts. All our love, [names].”
- “To the best dad in the world. We’ll miss you every day.”
- “Grandad, thank you for the stories. Love always, [names].”
- “My darling [name], until we meet again. All my love, [name].”
- “Our beautiful sister, always with us.”
From friends and neighbours
- “Remembering a wonderful friend with love.”
- “In loving memory of [name], with happy memories from [names].”
- “Thank you for years of laughter. Rest peacefully, [name].”
- “From your friends at number 12. We’ll miss you waving from the window.”
From colleagues and organisations
- “With deepest sympathy from all at [organisation].”
- “In memory of a much-loved colleague and friend.”
- “With respect and fond memories from [club or team].”
Faith messages
- “Rest in peace. With love and prayers, [names].”
- “Om Shanti. With love, [names].”
- “May God grant [name] eternal rest.”
For longer messages, see our condolence messages guide.
Flowers or a donation?
Many families now ask for donations instead of, or as well as, flowers. The notice will usually name a charity. You can:
- put cash or a cheque in the collection box at the funeral;
- give through an online tribute or donation page set up by the family or funeral director;
- donate directly to the charity, mentioning the person’s name.
If you’re a UK taxpayer, ask the charity whether your donation can be Gift Aided. Some people send a small posy and donate, which is also fine. If you’re arranging a funeral and want to ask for donations, see our guide to donations in memory for wording and how to choose a cause.
Eco-friendly flowers
Traditional floral foam isn’t biodegradable, and natural burial grounds often ask families to avoid foam, plastic and wire. Many florists now offer foam-free tributes using moss, straw or willow bases, or seasonal, locally grown flowers. See our guide to natural and woodland burial.
Next steps
- Find a funeral director near you to confirm delivery details.
- Read our funeral etiquette guide.
- Choose what to write in a sympathy card.
Frequently asked questions
What does "family flowers only" mean?
Where do I send funeral flowers?
Can I send flowers to a Muslim or Jewish funeral?
What happens to funeral flowers after the service?
Is it OK to send flowers after the funeral?
Sources
We check guides against official sources and update them when rules change. Editorial policy · Report an error
Cite this page: FuneralFinder (2026). “Funeral flowers: what to send and what to write”. https://funeralfinder.org/uk/guides/funeral-flowers/ (updated 25 September 2026).