Seeing someone after they die: the chapel of rest and viewing

Seeing someone after they have died is a very personal choice. For some people it’s an important goodbye; others would rather remember the person as they were. This guide explains where you can see them, what the room and the person will be like, what embalming is, and how to support children and follow faith customs.

Key points

• You can usually see the person in the hospital, at the funeral director’s chapel of rest, or sometimes at home.
• Visits to a chapel of rest are normally by appointment. Viewing is included in a funeral director’s standard attended funeral price, but not always in direct cremation packages.
• Embalming isn’t a legal requirement. It’s mainly used for repatriation, long delays or open-coffin viewings over several days.
• You can bring clothes and small keepsakes, but some items must come out of the coffin before a cremation.
• Children can visit if they choose to and are well prepared.
• Viewing is usually possible after a post-mortem.

Where you can see the person

Booking a visit

Every funeral director must publish a Standardised Price List under the Competition and Markets Authority’s rules. One of the six items in its attended funeral price is viewing of the person by appointment, where the family asks for it. See how to choose a funeral director.

Before you book, ask:

• when you can visit, and whether evenings or weekends cost extra
• whether several family members can come, and whether you can come more than once
• where the person is being cared for, as some firms use a central mortuary

If you’ve chosen direct cremation, check first. Scotland’s statutory Funeral Director Code says a provider that doesn’t include viewing must make this clear before you sign up, and try to arrange one if you ask later, with any extra cost explained.

What to expect

Preparing the person. Before you visit, staff carry out what’s called first offices. Scotland’s Code describes this as, at a minimum, washing the person, dressing them, closing their eyes and mouth, and arranging their hands.

How they may look and feel. The person will usually look peaceful, but paler and stiller than you expect. Their skin will feel cool, because they’re kept refrigerated. Their features may look slightly different. It’s normal to find this upsetting as well as comforting.

The room. Chapels of rest are usually quiet and softly lit, often with somewhere to sit. If there are religious symbols and you’d prefer them covered or moved, just ask.

Privacy and support. You’ll normally be left alone, with a member of staff close by if you need them. You can talk to the person, pray, play music, sit in silence, hold their hand or leave a letter or drawing.

Touching. The HSE’s guidance says staff should tell you if there’s any infection risk from touching or kissing the person, and encourage you to wash your hands afterwards. In rare cases they may suggest viewing behind glass or at a distance.

Embalming: what it is and when it’s used

Embalming means preserving the body by replacing the blood with a chemical embalming fluid, which also treats the body cavity and organs.

• It isn’t legally required. Scotland’s statutory Code says plainly that embalming is not a requirement for burial or cremation. The CMA’s price list template shows it as an optional extra, and Citizens Advice notes that care before a simple funeral won’t include it.
• Refrigeration is the norm. HSE guidance notes that not all bodies are embalmed.
• When it may be suggested: if the person is being repatriated abroad, where many countries and airlines require it; if there will be a long wait before the funeral; or for an open-coffin viewing at home or in a place of worship.
• Your consent matters. In Scotland, the funeral director must get your informed, written permission first. Elsewhere, ask what’s included and say clearly if you don’t want embalming.
• It can affect burial choices. Many natural burial grounds don’t accept embalmed bodies.

Clothes, jewellery and keepsakes

You can bring the person’s own clothes, or they can be dressed in a gown or shroud from the funeral director.

• Clothes: for cremation, the Federation of Burial and Cremation Authorities (FBCA) recommends clothing made from natural fibres, and no shoes or other items made from PVC.
• Keepsakes: photos, letters, drawings and flowers can go in the coffin for a viewing. For a cremation, the FBCA says items placed in the coffin for presentation or viewing must be removed before it goes to the crematorium. Ask what can stay.
• Jewellery: decide early whether rings or other jewellery should stay on. The FBCA advises removing jewellery before cremation, as it can’t be recovered afterwards. For a burial, it can stay.
• Personal belongings: Scotland’s Code says funeral directors must record the personal effects they take into their care, and anything returned. Hospitals also keep belongings safe and give a receipt when they’re collected.

Children visiting

Child Bereavement UK’s guidance, drawn from supporting bereaved families, suggests:

• give the child a real choice, with no pressure either way
• if you can, visit first without them, so you can describe exactly what they’ll see
• explain that the person’s body is dead, still and feels nothing, and that it will feel cold
• let them know they can leave, look from the doorway or change their mind at any time
• let them bring something to leave, such as a drawing, card or flowers

If the death was traumatic, talk to the funeral director or hospital staff first. See children and funerals.

Faith and cultural customs

Tell the funeral director about your customs at the first meeting, as they can affect timing, washing and whether a viewing happens at all.

• Muslim families usually wash the body (ghusl), wrap it in a white shroud and bury as soon as possible. Many avoid embalming. See Muslim funerals.
• Jewish families traditionally ask the burial society to carry out tahara, with white shrouds and no embalming or viewing. See Jewish funerals.
• Hindu and Sikh families often wash and dress the person themselves, and the coffin may go home, to the mandir or to the gurdwara so people can pay their respects. See Hindu and Sikh funerals.
• Orthodox Christian funerals usually have an open coffin and a final farewell. See Orthodox funerals.
• Irish, Caribbean and West African families often hold a wake or viewing, which may involve embalming. See Irish funerals and wakes.

If washing the body is part of your faith, ask whether the funeral director, mosque or community has a suitable room. For every tradition, start with our faith guides.

Viewing after a post-mortem

If the coroner, procurator fiscal or hospital needs a post-mortem, you’ll usually still be able to see the person. The NHS says you may be able to see them before the examination, and you’ll usually be able to see them afterwards if you wish. Funeral directors are experienced in caring for people after a post-mortem so that families can visit. See medical examiners, coroners and post-mortems.

When viewing may not be advised

Occasionally, the funeral director may advise against viewing, for example after a serious injury or when the person has been found some time after death. Scotland’s Code says they must explain their reasons sensitively, and support your wishes as far as they can. Sometimes a restricted viewing, such as viewing behind glass, is possible. Ask what can be done: the choice is still yours.

Next steps

• Choose who will care for the person: funeral directors near me
• Understand the first days: what happens to the body after death
• Choose a coffin, casket or shroud: coffins, caskets and shrouds
• Plan the service: how to plan a funeral
• Look after yourself: coping with grief