What happens at a funeral: running order, timings and what mourners do

If you’ve never been to a funeral, or not for a long time, it helps to know what to expect. Most UK funerals follow a familiar shape, whether they’re held at a crematorium, a church or a graveside. This guide walks through each type step by step, with rough timings and what mourners are expected to do.

Key points

• Arrive 10 to 15 minutes early and wait outside until the coffin arrives.
• Stand as the coffin is carried in, and follow the lead of others after that.
• Most services have music, a welcome, readings, a tribute, prayers or reflection, and a committal.
• A crematorium service usually fills a slot of 30 to 60 minutes.
• Church services are often followed by a burial or a cremation, which can be private.
• Afterwards there is often a wake or reception.

Before the service

The funeral usually begins with the cortège. The hearse carrying the coffin, followed by cars for close family, often leaves from the person’s home or the funeral director’s premises. Neighbours sometimes stand outside as it passes.

Other mourners go straight to the venue. At a crematorium another funeral may be finishing, so wait quietly away from the entrance. When the hearse arrives, the bearers carry the coffin in, and the close family usually follow it. Everyone else goes in behind them.

Running order: crematorium service

A service at a crematorium chapel is the most common type of UK funeral. A typical running order:

1. Entrance music as the coffin is carried in. Everyone stands.
2. Welcome from the minister, celebrant or family member leading the service.
3. Opening words, a prayer or a reflection on the person’s life.
4. A reading or poem.
5. The eulogy or tributes from family or friends.
6. Reflection music, often a favourite song played while people remember.
7. Prayers or a moment of silence.
8. The committal, the formal farewell. Curtains may close around the coffin, it may be lowered out of sight, or it may stay in place as people leave.
9. Closing words and thanks.
10. Exit music. The family usually leaves first.

Outside, there is often a spot where the flowers are laid out. Mourners look at them, read the cards and speak to the family. There may be a charity collection.

Running order: church funeral

A church funeral usually lasts longer and includes hymns sung by everyone. The shape varies by denomination, but often includes:

1. Entrance. The minister may meet the coffin at the door and lead it in, saying words of scripture.
2. Hymn.
3. Prayers and Bible readings.
4. Tribute or eulogy.
5. Sermon or address.
6. Hymn.
7. Prayers and the commendation, entrusting the person to God.
8. Leaving. The coffin is carried out, followed by the family.

A Catholic funeral is traditionally celebrated in three stages: a prayer vigil (sometimes the evening before), the funeral liturgy, often a Requiem Mass, and the committal at the graveside or crematorium. Non-Catholics are welcome; at Communion you can stay seated or, in many parishes, go forward for a blessing.

After a church service, mourners usually travel to the crematorium or cemetery for the committal. Sometimes this part is for family only.

Running order: graveside burial

A burial may follow a service in a church or chapel, or take place entirely at the graveside.

1. Procession. The bearers carry the coffin to the grave. Mourners follow and gather round, with close family nearest.
2. Words of committal, said by the person leading the service.
3. Lowering the coffin. In Scotland, family members are often invited to hold cords and lower it themselves.
4. Earth or flowers. Mourners may be invited to scatter a handful of earth or drop a flower onto the coffin.
5. A final prayer or words, then people move away quietly.

At Muslim and Jewish burials, mourners often help to fill the grave. Join in only if invited.

How long does each part take?

Timings vary, so check with the family or the funeral director.

What mourners do at each stage

• Arriving: sign any book of condolence, switch your phone off and wait outside.
• Seating: leave the front rows for close family.
• Standing and sitting: stand for the coffin, hymns and the committal. Follow those around you.
• Religious parts: you don’t have to pray or sing if it isn’t your faith. Standing quietly is respectful.
• Leaving: wait for the family to leave first.
• Afterwards: speak briefly to the family. Our guide on what to say at a funeral can help.

For dress codes, see what to wear to a funeral. For more on manners, see funeral etiquette.

Other types of funeral

• Humanist and celebrant-led funerals follow a similar shape, but focus on the person’s life story, without hymns or prayers. See our humanist and non-religious guides.
• Faith funerals can be very different. A Muslim funeral prayer is often held at a mosque or the cemetery, Hindu and Sikh families may witness the coffin entering the cremator, and Jewish funerals are usually simple, quick burials. See our faith guides.
• Direct cremation has no service or mourners at the crematorium. Families often hold a memorial or celebration of life later. See direct cremation.
• Livestreamed funerals. Many crematoria and churches can stream the service for people who can’t attend.

Next steps

• Planning a funeral yourself? Read how to plan a funeral.
• Find out what happens at a cremation behind the scenes.
• Prepare a reading with our funeral poems and order of service guides.
• Bringing children? See children and funerals.