Key facts
| Service | Mostly silent; anyone may stand and share a memory |
|---|---|
| Leader | No minister — elders help hold the meeting |
| Burial or cremation | Either |
What to expect
Everyone sits together, usually in a circle, and silence is broken only when someone feels led to speak. The meeting ends when elders shake hands. Non-Quakers are warmly welcome and are free simply to sit in silence.
Every family and community is different. Use this as a starting point, follow the wishes of the person who died, and ask their faith leader or community for guidance.
Finding a church for the funeral
If the person didn’t have a regular church, the funeral director can suggest one, or you can find a Quaker meeting house near you. Many ministers will lead a funeral for someone who lived in their parish or area, even if they rarely attended.
Etiquette for guests
What to wear
Plain, comfortable clothing.
What to say
You may share a memory if you feel moved to; there is no obligation.
Flowers and gifts
Usually simple or none.
Frequently asked questions
Can non-Quakers speak at a Quaker funeral?
Yes. Anyone present may stand and speak briefly if they feel moved to.